Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
My cat gives me a boner
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I wear drunk well.
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