Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
