she woke up with a sticky ear
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
