dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
