A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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