'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
