I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
