My friends, they love my intelligence
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
