I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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