Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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