does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
