oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We need a shit load of segways right now
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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