The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
