No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
