what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
