How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
