Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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