I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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