hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just gargled with NyQuil
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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