I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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