Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I think a kid would responsible me up
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
