marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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