I cockslap morals
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
COCAINE IS GR8
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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