Do you still have your period?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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