She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I looked at my own cervix.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
