I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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