Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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