Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
