Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
