Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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