TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
