im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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