Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
