I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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