But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
