just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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