Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
