Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize