I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
