you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
