i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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