I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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