were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
