Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
