Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
