Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
