He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
