Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
