eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Randomize
