Walk of Shame. In a state park.
This house was built for laser tag.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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