he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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