i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
