She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
We are all done wearing pants today
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
