I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
