We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
