My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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