I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
