I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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