i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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