she looked like the before picture.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
