This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
