There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
