I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Randomize
