Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I intend to get homeless drunk
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
