Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
