Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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