quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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