you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize