We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
